Filing Crimes

It’s possible that someone in your office is perpetrating heinous filing crimes. At Filecorp we are well equipped to deal with such misdeeds and have compiled a list of suspicious behaviours you can look out for.

Failing to stop and File

This person will not be visible at all throughout office site lines due to the “FileHenge” that surrounds them. They will be full of excuses such as being “too busy”, “not enough hours in the day” and “who cares about filing”? We care, that’s who. You may need to sit with this person through their first 2 – 3 filing sessions to help get them started and on the road to good filing habits. Their behaviour needs to change and a tough love approach is prudent.

Filing with intent

Filing with intent occurs when an employee determinedly files records incorrectly. They will “accidentally” shred a Deed or Will, they will hole punch documents but not attach them to the E-Zi clip, and they will use the wrong colour labels, all to the detriment of your well designed system. On the surface they will appear to be making the greatest of efforts to heed your classification but their aim is to undermine your good work and bring nothing but misfiling and ruin.

Filing under the influence

You must be vigilant at all after work functions and Christmas parties. If your records manager goes rogue during one of these events then chances are they have quaffed a few too many Sauvs and think they’re still ok to file. It’s advisable to have a breathalyser stationed outside the filing room as nobody wins when an RM files under the influence – the clean up can take months.

Filing while disqualified

Filing while disqualified is perhaps the most loathsome of all filing crimes. This person will be on probation from previous convictions and this may have escaped your background checks. They may think they are covering their tracks having learnt from earlier transgressions but there will be clues. They will want to file under the cover of darkness and will likely lurk around the filing room after hours or while everybody is at lunch.

Filing with reckless endangerment

This person operates with complete disregard for others safety and is known for inflicting grievous filing injuries on unsuspecting colleagues. They leave the bottom drawer of their filing cabinet open, and upright paper binders like road spikes in egress routes, which if fallen on can result in the need for tetanus booster shots.

If you are witness to any of these odious misdemeanours, you should report it to us immediately. We have SWAT teams on standby, ready to tackle even the largest filing crime syndicate. Our mission is to stamp out filing felonies and reduce rates of recidivism. Stay alert!